Busting “Don’t Get Your Hopes Up”

I had a fun and inspiring coaching call last week where one of my clients envisioned her proposal being well-received by publishers. We dreamed into the reality of what it would feel like to have multiple offers. We actually felt the joy and celebration of going through that experience. And it was delicious.

After I hung up I got to thinking about all the ways in which we don’t allow ourselves to dream. All the ways we keep ourselves from soaring. Our culture tells us, “Don’t get your hopes up.” All because the letdown will be too big. It’s easier to pick yourself up off the floor if you expect the worst, if you don’t allow yourself to feel into the probability of what’s possible.

Well, it’s time to call bullshit on all that. Getting our hopes up is the primary motivating factor behind everything we do. Anyone who’s ever succeeded at anything will tell you that they hoped and dreamed and believed that their dreams would come true.

And yet we do this thing of telling, professing, self-limiting. Almost every author I’ve ever worked with has confronted some variation of the demon who tells them they’re not good enough.

You’re not qualified to write this book/talk about this subject.
Who’s going to want to read what you have to say?
Your writing isn’t good enough to get published.
Why do you think you can do this?
Expect the worst.

Do any of these messages sound familiar? These are the pin needles to the balloon your spirit is trying to fly high. Recognize them for what they are.

Regardless of what you choose to believe in this month, test out where you stand on getting your hopes up. Do you allow yourself to believe in you, or do you squash that seed of hope before it starts to feel too good? Just check it out. If you find that you’re in fact not allowing yourself to soar, just do it. Believe that it will happen. You will be successful. You will write a book that everyone loves. You will get published. You will live the dream.

Until next month.


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